There are times when I miss myself more than anything in this world. Becoming a mother has been one of the greatest joys I’ll ever experience, but in learning to be a mom, I’ve lost myself. Who I really am, and I don’t know how to bring her back.
I am not just a mother, but also my own person. If I could go back, say, three years ago, the girl I was would be disappointed in the woman I have become. Young me wanted future me to thrive, and here I am withering away, lost in myself in a very negative way. I feel so restricted in what I can do now, not because of my child, but because of the things around me.
I want a new change of scenery for myself, something positive. New friends, maybe accomplish a goal or two, just be able to BE myself.
But again, I don’t myself anymore. I’m just “mom” now.